Ten Years of Middle Child Melodies

          As you probably haven't heard by now, the International Middle Child Union is celebrating 10 years of obscurity. As part of the festivities, I thought it would be fun to take a little stroll down our very own Middle Child Musical Memory Lane and revisit some of our favorite Middle Child melodies. What better place to start than with our take on the Simple Minds classic “Don't You (Forget About Me)”...

 

          Gene Autry had a huge hit in 1950 singing the story of a fluffy bunny, “bringing every girl and boy baskets full of Easter joy.” “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” became one of the most popular Easter songs ever. As you might expect, our Middle Child rendition tells a slightly different tale...

 

          “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” is an American classic. The Middle Child version is, well, a whole other ballgame...

 

 

          Everyone knows the story of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Of course far fewer know of  his Middle Child Syndrome suffering sleigh mate...

 

 

 

          Okay, this next one isn't a song, but while we're in the Christmas spirit, I couldn't resist sharing our telling of “The Middle Child's Night Before Christmas.”

 

 

 

          And speaking of holiday spirit, leave it to a Middle Child to turn “The Festival of Lights” into 8 nights of agony...

 

 

 

          When #middlechild started trending for no apparent reason a few years back, I thought maybe all my hard work was paying off. Then I found out that rapper J. Cole had just released his mega-hit, “Middle Child.” Of course, we couldn't let him have the last word...

 

 

CELEBRATE THE BIG DAY WITH MORE MIDDLE MUSIC! 

Check out the Middle Child's Day Playlist

 

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Pity the Poor, Lonely Firstborn?

          Over the years, I’ve posted many times about a wide variety of Middle Child related music. “Middle Child” by rapper/producer J.Cole, “Stuck in the Middle With You” by 70’s folk/rock group Stealers Wheel, “Smack Dab in the Middle” by disco diva Janice McClain, and many more have all been discussed and dissected on this blog. I’ve even posted our very own “Middle Child Anthem” and other Middle Child musical parodies. But this time it’s different, because this featured song isn’t about a Middle Child at all. It’s about a firstborn.

          I know, I know. Why am I writing about a firstborn song on a Middle Child blog? Don’t they already get enough attention!? I would’ve thought so. But according to the lyrics of “Lonely Boy,” a 1977 international hit song by Andrew Gold, that might not be the case. Take a listen, and we’ll discuss. 

 

 

 “Lonely Boy” spent five months on the charts, reaching #7 in both Canada and the U.S. It reached #11 in the U.K. 

 

          I’ll be the first to admit, I have always liked this song. There’s a certain orchestral quality about it that strikes a chord with me. But those lyrics.There was something about them that never sat quite right with me. They fly in the face of everything I’ve ever believed about firstborns. He felt lonely? Betrayed!? Could my whole understanding of the favored first born just be a myth? Oh my god, is this song actually making me feel bad for a firstborn? I had to do some digging.

 

“He was born on a summer day 1951

And with a slap of a hand he landed as an only son” 

 

          At first glance, the lyrics to “Lonely Boy” appear to be autobiographical. Andrew was born on a summer day in 1951. August 2, to be exact. He was the firstborn child of singer Marni Nixon and composer Ernest Gold.

 

“In the summer of '53 his mother brought him a sister” 

 

          Andrew’s younger sister Martha was in fact born on July 22, 1953 -- just like the song says. 

 

“He left home on a winter day, 1969”

 

          This appears to be a reference to Andrew’s first band, Bryndle, which was formed in -- you guessed it-- 1969. So this song has to be the autobiographical story of a firstborn who feels neglected by his parents after the birth of a younger sister, right? Not so fast!

“Lonely Boy” was released in 1976
on Andrew Gold’s second album,
“What's Wrong With This Picture?”

          In an interview with British radio presenter Spencer Leigh, Gold admitted that wasn’t really the case. “Maybe it was a mistake to do that, but I simply put in those details because it was convenient,” Gold said. “I hadn't been a lonely boy at all. I'd had a very happy childhood,” he conceded. 

          Ah hah! I knew it!! That makes way more sense. And once again, all is right with the world. But that’s not the real end to this story. 

          In his song, Gold leaves out any mention of his youngest sibling, sister Emma! Yeah, that means Martha was a Middle Child! I would argue that she's the one who deserves to feel betrayed. The birth of a younger sister meant she was no longer the only girl! I mean, even after Martha’s birth, Andrew was still the only son, so what was he whining about? Maybe the song should’ve been called “Lonely Girl,”  except I think that title might already be taken. 

          In any case, it turns out this post wasn’t all about a firstborn after all. 

 

Good As Gold: Andrew Gold was a multi-instrumentalist, singer, songwriter, and record producer. He produced, toured or played with The Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell, 10cc,  Cher,  Trisha Yearwood, Wynonna Judd, Vince Gill, Celine Dion, and so many more. “Lonely Boy” was featured in a number of films including “Boogie Nights” (1997) and “The Waterboy” (1998). The song's use in “Boogie Nights” came in at #5 on Rolling Stone’s list of “The 30 Greatest Rock & Roll Movie Moments.” It was also the final video to be played on MTV’s first day of broadcast in the U.S. During the 1990s, Gold produced, composed, performed on and wrote tracks for films, commercials, and television, including the theme for “Mad About You” (“Final Frontier”).  His 1978 hit “Thank You for Being a Friend” achieved even greater popularity as the opening theme  for “The Golden Girls.” Sadly, Gold passed away at age 59 after a battle with kidney cancer. 

Not The Only Lonely Boy: Andrew Gold apparently wasn't the first alleged lonely firstborn. “Lonely Boy” by firstborn  Paul Anka,  was released in 1959 and reached #1 on Billboard's Hot 100. Middle Child Donny Osmond also charted with a B-side cover version in 1972.

The Middle Child's Day Playlist

Celebrate the big day with the very best of “Middle” music.

       August 12 is Middle Child's Day -- less than a week away! It's the one day of the year when millions of Middle Children get to be center stage and soak up the spotlight. All that attention -- it's music to a Mid Kid's ears.
     If only it were so.
     Sadly, that sorely needed attention won't happen for most Middle Children. Our namesake day will, quite ironically, go by unnoticed. But they can't take away our music!
     Get your Middle Child's Day playlist started with these memorable Middle melodies:

1. “Stuck in the Middle With You” (Stealers Wheel)

2. “The Middle” (Zed, Marren Morris, Grey)

3. “Smack Dab in the Middle” (Janice McClain)

4. “The Middle Child Anthem” (Parody & Son)

5. “Middle Child” (Jack Maynard)

6. “Middle Child” (J.Cole)

7. “Middle Child Parody” (Parody & Son)

8. “The Middle” (Jimmy Eat World)

9. “Smack Dab in the Middle” (Ray Charles)

10. “Happy Birthday Middle Child” (Palmyra Delran)

11. “Boss of Me/Malcolm in the Middle Theme” (They Might Be Giants)

NEXT WEEK: “THE MIDDLE CHILD’S DAY PARADE THAT ALMOST WAS”

 

Hear more MidKid music:

"Ten Years of Middle Child Melodies" 

"Middle Child Valentine's Day Playlist"

 

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On Threads (but I'm not sure why.) Follow @midkidunion

 

Give Us Our # Back!

Rapper J. Cole Makes #middlechild Trend on Twitter

     I was so psyched when I saw #middlechild popping up everywhere on Twitter recently. “All my hard work is paying off,” I thought. “Finally, we’re getting some attention.” So you can imagine how disappointed I was to learn that all the fuss wasn’t really about MidKids at all, but about the release of rapper J. Cole’s latest track titled “Middle Child.” Disappointed, but hardly surprised.
     According to Genius.com, “Cole envisions himself in the center of the old and new generations of hip-hop, making him the ‘Middle Child’ of rap.” The lyrics couldn’t be any clearer:

“I'm dead in the middle of two generations

I'm little bro and big bro all at once.”

     Tell me about it. It doesn’t get any more Middle Child than that. But once again, we’ve been reduced to a mere metaphor! And just to rub more salt in the wound, Cole only has an older brother and no younger siblings. Ugh. I mean, if you’re going to hijack our hashtag, couldn’t you at least be a real Middle Child?
     I don’t know, maybe it’s a good thing. The track is Cole’s biggest hit yet. It dropped on January 23, and by the week of February 9, it had already reached #4 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, and #2 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs. And the highly anticipated music video just dropped on Feb. 25, sparking a whole new #middlechild surge.

     So maybe I should be thanking Cole -- make him an honorary Middle Child or something. I mean, borrowed Middle Child buzz is better than no Middle Child buzz at all, right? But on the other hand-- can’t we even have our own hashtag!? We have to share that, too? #sounfair.
     Since J. Cole took our tag, I figured it was fair to rip off his rap for my “Middle Child” parody.