Pity the Poor, Lonely Firstborn?

          Over the years, I’ve posted many times about a wide variety of Middle Child related music. “Middle Child” by rapper/producer J.Cole, “Stuck in the Middle With You” by 70’s folk/rock group Stealers Wheel, “Smack Dab in the Middle” by disco diva Janice McClain, and many more have all been discussed and dissected on this blog. I’ve even posted our very own “Middle Child Anthem” and other Middle Child musical parodies. But this time it’s different, because this featured song isn’t about a Middle Child at all. It’s about a firstborn.

          I know, I know. Why am I writing about a firstborn song on a Middle Child blog? Don’t they already get enough attention!? I would’ve thought so. But according to the lyrics of “Lonely Boy,” a 1977 international hit song by Andrew Gold, that might not be the case. Take a listen, and we’ll discuss. 

 

 

 “Lonely Boy” spent five months on the charts, reaching #7 in both Canada and the U.S. It reached #11 in the U.K. 

 

          I’ll be the first to admit, I have always liked this song. There’s a certain orchestral quality about it that strikes a chord with me. But those lyrics.There was something about them that never sat quite right with me. They fly in the face of everything I’ve ever believed about firstborns. He felt lonely? Betrayed!? Could my whole understanding of the favored first born just be a myth? Oh my god, is this song actually making me feel bad for a firstborn? I had to do some digging.

 

“He was born on a summer day 1951

And with a slap of a hand he landed as an only son” 

 

          At first glance, the lyrics to “Lonely Boy” appear to be autobiographical. Andrew was born on a summer day in 1951. August 2, to be exact. He was the firstborn child of singer Marni Nixon and composer Ernest Gold.

 

“In the summer of '53 his mother brought him a sister” 

 

          Andrew’s younger sister Martha was in fact born on July 22, 1953 -- just like the song says. 

 

“He left home on a winter day, 1969”

 

          This appears to be a reference to Andrew’s first band, Bryndle, which was formed in -- you guessed it-- 1969. So this song has to be the autobiographical story of a firstborn who feels neglected by his parents after the birth of a younger sister, right? Not so fast!

“Lonely Boy” was released in 1976
on Andrew Gold’s second album,
“What's Wrong With This Picture?”

          In an interview with British radio presenter Spencer Leigh, Gold admitted that wasn’t really the case. “Maybe it was a mistake to do that, but I simply put in those details because it was convenient,” Gold said. “I hadn't been a lonely boy at all. I'd had a very happy childhood,” he conceded. 

          Ah hah! I knew it!! That makes way more sense. And once again, all is right with the world. But that’s not the real end to this story. 

          In his song, Gold leaves out any mention of his youngest sibling, sister Emma! Yeah, that means Martha was a Middle Child! I would argue that she's the one who deserves to feel betrayed. The birth of a younger sister meant she was no longer the only girl! I mean, even after Martha’s birth, Andrew was still the only son, so what was he whining about? Maybe the song should’ve been called “Lonely Girl,”  except I think that title might already be taken. 

          In any case, it turns out this post wasn’t all about a firstborn after all. 

 

Good As Gold: Andrew Gold was a multi-instrumentalist, singer, songwriter, and record producer. He produced, toured or played with The Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell, 10cc,  Cher,  Trisha Yearwood, Wynonna Judd, Vince Gill, Celine Dion, and so many more. “Lonely Boy” was featured in a number of films including “Boogie Nights” (1997) and “The Waterboy” (1998). The song's use in “Boogie Nights” came in at #5 on Rolling Stone’s list of “The 30 Greatest Rock & Roll Movie Moments.” It was also the final video to be played on MTV’s first day of broadcast in the U.S. During the 1990s, Gold produced, composed, performed on and wrote tracks for films, commercials, and television, including the theme for “Mad About You” (“Final Frontier”).  His 1978 hit “Thank You for Being a Friend” achieved even greater popularity as the opening theme  for “The Golden Girls.” Sadly, Gold passed away at age 59 after a battle with kidney cancer. 

Not The Only Lonely Boy: Andrew Gold apparently wasn't the first alleged lonely firstborn. “Lonely Boy” by firstborn  Paul Anka,  was released in 1959 and reached #1 on Billboard's Hot 100. Middle Child Donny Osmond also charted with a B-side cover version in 1972.

The Middle Child's Day Playlist

Celebrate the big day with the very best of “Middle” music.

       August 12 is Middle Child's Day -- less than a week away! It's the one day of the year when millions of Middle Children get to be center stage and soak up the spotlight. All that attention -- it's music to a Mid Kid's ears.
     If only it were so.
     Sadly, that sorely needed attention won't happen for most Middle Children. Our namesake day will, quite ironically, go by unnoticed. But they can't take away our music!
     Get your Middle Child's Day playlist started with these memorable Middle melodies:

1. “Stuck in the Middle With You” (Stealers Wheel)

2. “The Middle” (Zed, Marren Morris, Grey)

3. “Smack Dab in the Middle” (Janice McClain)

4. “The Middle Child Anthem” (Parody & Son)

5. “Middle Child” (Jack Maynard)

6. “Middle Child” (J.Cole)

7. “Middle Child Parody” (Parody & Son)

8. “The Middle” (Jimmy Eat World)

9. “Smack Dab in the Middle” (Ray Charles)

10. “Happy Birthday Middle Child” (Palmyra Delran)

11. “Boss of Me/Malcolm in the Middle Theme” (They Might Be Giants)

NEXT WEEK: “THE MIDDLE CHILD’S DAY PARADE THAT ALMOST WAS”

 

Hear more MidKid music:

"Ten Years of Middle Child Melodies" 

"Middle Child Valentine's Day Playlist"

 

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Middle Child Music Notes

  I like to consider myself somewhat of a music savant. I can accurately whistle a scary amount of songs, many of which I’m not even sure how I know. I can usually “Name That Tune” in four notes or less. But when my brother-in-law, a fellow Smack Dab Middle Child (2nd of three boys), recently asked if I remember Janice McClain’s 1979 Disco hit, “Smack Dab in the Middle,” I came up empty.

     Was I losing my Middle Child music mojo? And of all songs not to remember, how could it be that one? How could I not remember? I mean, I spent  a lot of time at discos in the 70’s. Ohhh, maybe that explains my memory loss. But where was I... oh, yeah... after searching for the song online, it all came back to me. I was struck with a severe case of Saturday Night Fever  and found myself lost in a Disco Inferno wanting More, More More. And while I was disappointed to learn my Latin Hustle is not what it used to be, my journey of disco discovery did yield a pleasant surprise: a second song called “Smack Dab in the Middle” -- and not some disco one hit wonder, either. This second Smack Dab song was actually the first, written by R&B musician/songwriter Jesse Stone, recorded and released in 1955 under his performing alias, Charlie Calhoun and his Orchestra and Chorus.
     While Stone's best known composition was “Shake, Rattle, and Roll,” the rock and roll classic made famous by Bill Haley & His Comets, his “Smack Dab in the Middle” is no slouch. 68 different cover versions of the song are listed at secondhandsongs.com -- Count Basie with Joe Williams, Connie Francis, Nancy Wilson, George Jones and Johnny Paycheck, The Chambers Brothers, Buster Poindexter and many others all took a shot at it. Oooh, make that 69. I found another one by a group called Almost Blue. Ray Charles probably had the most success with his 1964 cover. It remained on Billboard's Hot 100 for seven weeks.

     I realize it’s hardly the most covered song of all time. According to many lists, that honor belongs to The Beatles’ “Yesterday,” with more than 2,000 recorded cover versions. But The Independent  ranked the Rolling Stones “(I can’t get no) Satisfaction” at number five with 98 recorded covers, so “Smack Dab” isn’t that far behind. If a few more covers are uncovered, who knows -- it might be in the Top 20! And I never even knew it existed until a few weeks ago? Sounds to me like a classic case of musical Middle Child Syndrome.