Feeling unloved on Valentine’s Day? Welcome to the club! Now you know what it feels like to be a Middle Child every day! Being overlooked and under-loved is something we know all too well, but on Valentine’s Day it feels even worse. (It feels almost as bad as getting zero attention on Middle Child’s Day, but not quite. Nothing's worse than that.)
To help you through what will likely be a particularly difficult day of Middle Child misery, I’ve compiled a special Valentine’s Day playlist – a collection of songs that capture the essence of feeling unwanted and unloved -- a selection of standards from the Middle Child Syndrome songbook.
So when you need a break from keeping track of who did and didn’t wish you a “Happy Valentine’s Day,” take a moment from feeling slighted and forgotten, click the links and crank up a little music to feel sorry for yourself by.
I know, I know. Why am I writing about a firstborn song on a Middle Child blog? Don’t they already get enough attention!? I would’ve thought so. But according to the lyrics of “Lonely Boy,” a 1977 international hit song by Andrew Gold, that might not be the case. Take a listen, and we’ll discuss.
“Lonely Boy” spent five months on the charts, reaching #7 in both Canada and the U.S. It reached #11 in the U.K.
I’ll be the first to admit, I have always liked this song. There’s a certain orchestral quality about it that strikes a chord with me. But those lyrics.There was something about them that never sat quite right with me. They fly in the face of everything I’ve ever believed about firstborns. He felt lonely? Betrayed!? Could my whole understanding of the favored first born just be a myth? Oh my god, is this song actually making me feel bad for a firstborn? I had to do some digging.
“He was born on a summer day 1951
And with a slap of a hand he landed as an only son”
At first glance, the lyrics to “Lonely Boy” appear to be autobiographical. Andrew was born on a summer day in 1951. August 2, to be exact. He was the firstborn child of singer Marni Nixon and composer Ernest Gold.
“In the summer of '53 his mother brought him a sister”
Andrew’s younger sister Martha was in fact born on July 22, 1953 -- just like the song says.
“He left home on a winter day, 1969”
This appears to be a reference to Andrew’s first band, Bryndle, which was formed in -- you guessed it-- 1969. So this song has to be the autobiographical story of a firstborn who feels neglected by his parents after the birth of a younger sister, right? Not so fast!
In an interview with British radio presenter Spencer Leigh, Gold admitted that wasn’t really the case. “Maybe it was a mistake to do that, but I simply put in those details because it was convenient,” Gold said. “I hadn't been a lonely boy at all. I'd had a very happy childhood,” he conceded.
Ah hah! I knew it!! That makes way more sense. And once again, all is right with the world. But that’s not the real end to this story.
In his song, Gold leaves out any mention of his youngest sibling, sister Emma! Yeah, that means Martha was a Middle Child! I would argue that she's the one who deserves to feel betrayed. The birth of a younger sister meant she was no longer the only girl! I mean, even after Martha’s birth, Andrew was still the only son, so what was he whining about? Maybe the song should’ve been called “Lonely Girl,” except I think that title might already be taken.
In any case, it turns out this post wasn’t all about a firstborn after all.
Not The Only Lonely Boy: Andrew Gold apparently wasn't the first alleged lonely firstborn. “Lonely Boy” by firstborn Paul Anka, was released in 1959 and reached #1 on Billboard's Hot 100. Middle Child Donny Osmond also charted with a B-side cover version in 1972.
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