Showing posts with label Chris Griffin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris Griffin. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Middle Children Can Be Very Animated: Part 2

     We continue our salute of those animated characters firmly perched on the middle branches of their family trees. In no particular order, here are the final honorees to earn a spot on the “Smack Dab List of Best Animated Middle Children.” If I missed any, let me know...

KENNY MCCORMICK (Older Brother: Kevin; Younger Sister: Karen)
     Like many Middle Children, Kenny has a habit of acting out. He’s been arrested 4 times -- once for prostitution, when he gave Howard Stern a “hummer” for $10. He’s also committed Proxy Murder -- together with Eric Cartman, they got Sarah Jessica Parker to dress up as a moose and took her into the woods, where she was shot by hunters. His criminal record also includes: copyright infringement, attempted murder, vandalism, assault, filing a false police report (when he lied to the police about his parents abusing him), cannibalism, kidnapping, violation of firearm laws, underage smoking/drug abuse, arson, blackmail, pedophilia, vigilantism, underage sex, indecent exposure, fraud, civil unrest/rioting, and breaking & entering (when he broke into Cartman’s house with Stan Marsh, Butters Stotch, and Timmy Burch, to remove Cartman’s kidney.) Okay, so maybe he’s taken acting out to the extreme.
     Kenny’s ultimate Middle Child attention grab is dying in nearly every episode of the first five seasons of South Park. He has died and come back well over 100 times across the South Park franchise, meeting every fate from being struck by lightning (Ep. 1/Season3), to being eaten by a giant reptilian bird (Ep.14/Season 15) -- yet no one ever seems to remember. In Ep.12/Season 14 he laments, “I go to school the next day, and everyone is just like, ‘Oh, hey Kenny.’ Even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes.” You know you’re a Middle Child when nobody even pays attention to you dying!



DEWEY DUCK (Older Brother: Huey; Younger Brother: Louie)
     Along with his buoyant brothers, Dewey has been making life miserable for his Uncle Donald since their debut in the 1937 comic strip, Donald's Nephews. The second brother hatched, his official birth name is Dewford Deuteronomy Duck. Dewey missed out on being the eldest triplet by a mere three seconds. Instead, he’s the Middle Duck and wants to stand out.
     In the 1987 DuckTales episode “Duck in the Iron Mask” (Ep. 56/Season 1) Dewey is at bat for his Junior Woodchucks team, but the crowd keeps mistaking him for one of his other two brothers. Dewey wants to be his own duck and separate himself from the threesome, so the next morning he sheds his signature blue shirt and appears wearing attention grabbing garb.
     Dewey’s Middle Child issues continue in the 2017 DuckTales reboot. As a way of proving himself, he embarks on dangerous adventures by himself, earning the nickname “The Guts.” Like many Mid Kids, Dewey can be sensitive and insecure. He’s also made it his life's mission to find his long-lost mother, Donald’s sister Della.



CHRIS GRIFFIN (Older Sister: Meg; Younger Brother: Stewie)
     Christopher Cross Griffin was an accident, the result of a broken condom. Peter and Lois filed a lawsuit and were able to buy their house with the proceeds, so it wasn’t a total loss. In “Peter's Daughter” (Ep.7/ Season 6), Lois admits she smoked and drank a lot when she was pregnant with Chris hoping it would terminate the pregnancy. So even before becoming a Middle Child, nobody wanted him around.
     Chris is self-conscious, mostly about his weight. I’m sure being called “Elephant Child” when he was born didn’t help. He has a close relationship with his father, but sometimes thinks he won’t live up to Peter’s expectations, which are pretty low. Chris is uncomfortably attracted to his mother. He even once dated a girl that looked like Lois, figuring the only person who could love him would be someone who could tolerate his father.
      Chris has pretty typical sibling rivalry with Meg. They love each other, even if it’s only because they’re forced to by their mother. Of course, that doesn't include that time in “Lethal Weapons” (Ep.7/Season 3), as seen here. Chris is also often the unwitting guinea pig for Stewie's many experiments.
      Oh, and in “And the Wiener is...” (Ep.3/Season 5) we learn that Chris has an unusually large penis, like most male Middles. Or maybe it’s just me.




Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Top 10 Middle Child Costumes for Halloween

     For many Middle Children, Halloween is an opportunity to not be a Middle Child -- at least for a day. But I say it's the perfect time to embrace your Middle Child-ness. Or at least a chance to be a different Middle Child -- maybe even a famous Middle Child! Here are  some suggestions:

10. The Multimillionaire Middle Child: All it takes is a snazzy suit and a horrible hairdo, and Voila! -- you’re Donald Trump. Or if you prefer a more understated look, this Tech Digest article outlines all the geek garb you’ll need to be Bill Gates.

9. A Very Brady Halloween: This year, make it all about Jan, Jan, Jan! Choose the traditional TV series look, or the wigged out movie look. Either way, it's a fitting Halloween homage.


8. Famous FOX Mid Kids: They may never get their own spin-offs, so why not let Mid Kids Chris Griffin or Lisa Simpson be the center of attention, just for the night.

7. The Middle Mermaid: Everyone knows all about Ariel, but why not change things up this year and go as her lesser known sister, Ethel? Yes, Ethel Mermaid.

6. The Irrelephant: If you’re really looking for some attention this Halloween, (and honestly, what Middle Child isn’t?), here's the perfect costume: a pachyderm with Middle Child Syndrome!

5. The Invisible Man: You’ve been playing the part for years, so you might as well dress the part this Halloween. Wrap some gauze around your head, slap on some sunglasses, throw on a bathrobe, and you’re good to go! It'll be like you're not even there. What else is new?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Middle Child Masterpiece Theater

It's all Middle Child, all the time, featuring classic, memorable Middle Child Moments. The most complete (and only) TV Middle Child archives in the world -- take that, Smithsonian! If you know of any worthy submissions, or if you have additional information about archived clips, please let me know and they'll be added. Future additions to the archives will be viewable on the Smack Dab Channel...


THE BRADY BUNCH
Middle Child: Jan Brady (Eve Plumb) "Her Sister's Shadow" Season 3/No. 10  Originally Aired: November 19, 1971

BOY MEETS WORLD
Middle Child: Cory Matthews (Ben Savage)
"The B-Team of Life" Season 1/No. 14
Originally Aired: January 28, 1994
VIEW THE CLIP
THE MIDDLE
Middle Child: Sue Heck (Eden Sher)
Episode: TBD
Originally Aired: TBD
VIEW THE CLIP
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY
Middle Child: Danny Partridge (Danny Bonaduce)
"Did You Hear the One About Danny Partridge?" Season 1/No. 9
Originally Aired: November 20, 1970
VIEW THE CLIP

ROSEANNE
Middle Child: Darlene Conner (Sara Gilbert)
"Dances with Darlene" Season 3/No. 23
Originally Aired: April 30, 1991
FULL HOUSE
Middle Child: Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin)
"Middle Aged Crazy" Season 2/No. 10
Originally Aired: January 6, 1989
VIEW THE CLIP

THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY
Middle Child: Danny Partridge (Danny Bonaduce)
"You're Only Young Twice" Season 3/No. 6
Originally Aired: October 20, 1972
VIEW THE CLIP



FAMILY GUY
Middle Child: Chris Griffin (Seth Green)
Episode: TBD
Originally Aired: TBD
VIEW THE CLIP


MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
Middle Child: Malcolm Wilkerson (Frankie Muniz)
"Malcolm Holds His Tongue" Season 4/No. 7
Originally Aired: January 5, 2003


See all the latest on YouTube at the Smack Dab Channel

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Change Your Profile to Help Give Middle Child's Day a Higher Profile.


     This coming Monday, August 12, is Middle Child's Day. What's that? You didn't know August 12 was Middle Child's Day? You didn't even know there was a Middle Child's Day?? Of course you didn't, and that's the point. It's like we were given a holiday just so everyone could ignore it! Typical Middle Child treatment. It's truly the forgotten Middle Child of holidays, but we can change all that.  On August 12th, (that's Middle Child's Day -- did you forget already?) change your Facebook profile pic for the day to a Middle Child you know and love. Or can't stand. It doesn't matter. It can be someone famous, like Bill Gates or Abraham Lincoln. Or maybe a little infamous, like Britney or Joaquin Phoenix. Or maybe someone who wasn't really a Middle Child at all, but just played a Middle Child on TV, like Malcom or Lady Edith. And of course, Jan Brady. They don't even have to be a real human, like Chris Griffin. In fact, They don't have to be a human at all, like the Chipmunk's Simon Seville. Your choice. It's just a simple way of telling the Middle Children in your life, "Okay, I will acknowledge you exist for just one day."



Saturday, October 27, 2012

TV’s Greatest Middle Children

Malcom (NOT REALLY) in the Middle
"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"
The immortal words of Jan Brady.
Zap2it.com has compiled a great tribute to TV’s most famous Middle Children. But before reviewing the list, let’s get one thing straight. Malcom wasn’t really in the middle! For the first four seasons, Malcom had two older brothers, Francis and Reese, and a younger brother, Dewey. This meant Malcom had at best (or worst) "shared" Middle Child status with Reese. It wasn’t until the fifth season that Malcom’s baby brother Jamie was introduced, making Malcom a true Middle Child. But that was short lived, as two seasons later in the seventh and final season, it was revealed another member of the family was expected. Being a Middle Child for only two seasons doesn’t really count. Trust me. The title seems to be more about Malcom always finding himself in the middle, yet it is now commonly accepted that Malcom actually was a Middle Child, even though he wasn’t.