Will the Pandemic Mean No Middle Child's Day?

     As founder of the International Middle Child Union, I've been giving serious consideration to canceling Middle Child’s Day on August 12 due to the Coronavirus pandemic. But after much soul searching and lengthy discussions with myself, I’m having a change of heart. To the relief of practically no one, I am pleased to announce that Middle Child’s Day will go on as planned. I mean, if we called it off, it probably would be no different than any other year. Nobody would even notice!
     Clearly, there’s no point in calling off a holiday hardly anyone even knows exists in the first place. But beyond that, Middle Children could use the attention now more than ever. On the best of days in the best of times, we feel left out and alone. So can you imagine how much worse our Middle Child Syndrome is when we’ve been isolated for months? Canceling Middle Child’s Day would be like rubbing salt in an already open, painful, unattended wound.

     The I.M.C.U. is, however, halting our efforts to find a sponsor this year for a Middle Child’s Day Parade. At first, I thought we could have a CDC-compliant parade. It would hardly be considered a large gathering. There would only be like four people in it, so social distancing would be a piece of cake. And crowd control certainly wouldn’t be a problem. But maybe next year. For now, the I.M.C.U. will be shifting our focus to encouraging Middle Children to celebrate our special day safely. It should be easy, since they’ll probably be celebrating alone.