A Middle Child Motivational Message

          Well, I’m back from my self-imposed month long post-Middle Child’s Day sabbatical (mental health leave), and I’m not gonna lie – I really needed the time off. I mean, all my hard work trying to raise awareness for Middle Child’s Day didn’t exactly pay off. It was hardly front page news. #MiddleChildsDay didn’t trend on Twitter. There also weren’t a ton of Middle Child’s Day posts on Facebook and Instagram, either. Even the planned belated Middle Child’s Day celebration at Swede’s Swing Inn in Ferryville, WI -- possibly the only known organized Middle Child’s Day celebration in the whole wide world -- didn't exactly go as planned. Oh, people showed up alright, but hardly anyone remembered it was a Middle Child’s Day celebration! And just to rub salt in the wound, nobody even called to wish me a Happy Middle Child’s Day. Rough stuff.

          I spent days and nights blaming myself for this massive failure. (I mean, who else could I blame when apparently I was the only person who even knew it was happening?!) But after much reflection and introspection, that’s all behind me know. I return with a renewed sense of commitment to the cause! The Middle Child’s Day Countdown Clock is up and running again and so am I, more determined than ever to lead the International Middle Child Union to new heights and reach not only our goal of raising awareness of Middle Child’s Day, but also finding a cure for Middle Child Syndrome and recruiting a host city for the first ever Middle Child’s Day Parade. Of course, increasing International Middle Child Union memberships (a.k.a. Twitter followers) would also be nice, but I don’t want to be greedy.

Coming soon to a city near you?

          As I lifted myself up from the depths of post-Middle Child’s Day despair, I drew strength from inspirational adages I think everyone, but Middle Children in particular, will appreciate. So I’ve assembled the uplifting thoughts that helped me through my darkest hours of PMCDTSD (Post Middle Child's Day Traumatic Stress Disorder) into a collection I’m calling “Middle Child Motivation.” 

          Below is the first one, but I’ll be posting more throughout the year, because I believe it’s important for me to share these messages of Middle Child hope and promise with the world.

          Then again, maybe I should just keep my thoughts to myself.

 

 

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Surviving P.M.C.D.T.S.D.

          I could barely find the strength to write this post today. I am, like millions of other Middle Children, trying to recover from another psychologically bruising, emotionally draining Middle Child’s Day. Once again the day has taken its toll, leaving me to deal with the crushing aftermath: a severe case of Post Middle Child’s Day Traumatic Stress Disorder. Coupled with chronic Middle Child Syndrome, my post Middle Child’s Day malaise is palpable.
          You’d think after all these years I would know not to get my hopes up. But still, there’s that little voice in my head, deep in the middle of my brain, that says to me, “Maybe this year will be different. This year, people will actually... care.” Then, it’s August 12, and reality sinks in. The jokes:

          The insults:

          The self-loathing:

          And of course, the neglect:

          I search for answers, but only have myself to blame. I allowed myself to believe that my efforts to raise awareness for Middle Child’s Day were actually making a difference. After all, I was interviewed by the Today Show. HLN. Even some show in New Zealand. I was on the radio. I was in New York Magazine. “People are paying attention,” I foolishly believed. Surely I was making progress. My spirits were actually buoyed when I saw “Happy Middle Child’s Day” hashtags appearing with great frequency on our namesake day. But any hint of a wind was knocked out of my sails when I found out what was actually trending on Twitter: #WorldElephantDay. Really!? Even elephants get more attention than black sheep!?
          I had hit rock bottom. But why should I even care anymore? It’s been widely reported that Middle Children are going extinct, so why am I wasting my time? Maybe I should just call it a day and close up shop. Then, a headline pops up on my news feed:

“Reality Check: Are Middle Children Going Extinct?”

Wait, what? “Don’t believe them,” warns the middle voice in my head. Then, another headline:

“Middle Children Have Become Rarer, But A Growing Share Of Americans

Now Say Three Or More Kids Are Ideal.”

And just like that, the International Middle Children Union is back in business.