Monday, August 8, 2022

How to NOT Celebrate Middle Child's Day

         Over the last 10 years, I’ve tried to help find all sorts of new ways to celebrate Middle Child’s Day. I convinced over 100 MiLB teams to hold “Middle Child Appreciation Nights” at stadiums all across the country. I reached out to cities and towns all around the world asking them to issue proclamations officially acknowledging Middle Child’s Day. For years, I’ve been creating FREE Middle Child’s Day greeting cards and publishing the annual “Middle Child’s Day Gift Guide.” I even tried to get us a parade to celebrate our not-so-big day. I’ve always focused my efforts on how to make the day something a Middle Child can feel good about. Or at least less bad. But this year, as I was exploring new ideas, I came across a blog that appeared to have something different in mind.
        The folks over at set the bar pretty high with their Middle Child’s Day offering, promising “hilarious Middle Child’s Day jokes,” “funny Middle Child quotes,” “the most awesome collection of Middle Child messages,” not to mention, Middle Child’s Day greeting cards. So let’s see what uplifting hilarity they’ve cooked up for us on our special day. Here’s a sampling of some suggested “Middle Child’s Day Greeting Messages:”
“The Middle Child always thinks that he is being constantly taken for granted and forgotten.
Happy Middle Child’s Day to you my dear.”
          I feel it needs to be stated clearly that this is not a greeting. This is a simple, sad statement of facts. I also probably don’t even need to point out that this is not the least bit humorous. Neither is this, for that matter:
“Having a Middle Child in the family is like having someone on whom you can always
pass on the blame with ease. Happy Middle Child’s Day!” 
          Middle Child’s Day greetings? Sounds more like Middle Child’s Day condolences. Perhaps a few “Middle Child Quotes” will provide some much needed inspiration:
“Middle child has a tough life, he is neither the eldest and nor the youngest and therefore, 
he will always stay somewhere in between.”
          Gee, thanks for the thoughtful insight. What a joke! Oh, my bad – these are some of the jokes:
“Being a Middle Child is like you are always on the training to face the real world, 
the world which always neglects you and irritates you. Happy Middle Child’s Day.” 
          Wait, how is that even close to being a joke? It doesn’t seem to have any of the basic elements of a joke, like -- I don’t know -- a setup? Or a punchline, maybe? Who would find that remotely funny, expect for maybe a first or last-born. Here's another real knee-slapper:
“Being a Middle Child is being neglected all the time, you are never the only child and nor you are the youngest to one always be pampered. Warm wishes on Middle Child’s Day.”

          Good lord! I’m failing to see much of a difference between the jokes, the quotes and the messages. Even though they all do share the absence of anything resembling humor. They certainly aren't anywhere near hilarious. Oh, and where are the Middle Child’s Day greeting cards, by the way? That’s right, there are none – which means this blog remains the best (and probably only) place you’ll find them. CLICK HERE to get some for FREE.
          So thanks for thinking of us,, but I'd rather you didn't. The last thing we need is more Middle Child misery. It’s almost time for some Middle Child revelry. At least for one day.
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Middle Children need to be heard!