Friday, July 12, 2019

Middle Child's Day Parade Seeks Grand Marshal

     The Holiday Season is here -- Middle Child’s Day is August 12! Like I’ve always said, Middle Child’s Day is like Christmas in August. Just without any of the presents. Or celebrating. And certainly none of the attention. In any case, preparations for our special day are in full swing.
     As founder of the International Middle Child Union, I am proud to announce we are now accepting applications for a chance to be Grand Marshal of the 2019 Middle Child’s Day Parade. Imagine how great it would feel to have huge crowds of adoring onlookers giving you their undivided attention. It’s every forgotten Middle Child’s dream come true!
     Unfortunately, applicants will definitely have to imagine the feeling because -- big surprise -- there is no Middle Child’s Day parade. But look on the bright side. Unlike the Thanksgiving Day or the Rose Bowl Parade, being the Grand Marshal of the Middle Child’s Day Parade will take very little of your time. Still, we need to be prepared for the day Middle Child’s Day finally gets the recognition we’ve long been seeking.
     When we do get our parade, we’ll have to move fast -- before someone changes their mind. We’ll need a Grand Marshal already in place to take their place atop our brand new I.M.C.U. float. (FULL DISCLOSURE: said float also doesn’t exist yet. But when it does, it will be brand new. Unless, of course, it’s a hand-me-down. Which there’s a very good chance it will be.)
     Interested applicants are encouraged to e-mail the I.M.C.U. with a brief explanation of why they should be Grand Marshal. Or if you know a qualified Middle Child, tell us why they deserve consideration. Reach us at:

     Maybe nothing else we do in our lives will get us the attention we feel we’re lacking, but being the Grand Marshal of a parade? Surely that would change everything. But probably not.


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