A Middle Child Limerick

          It’s St. Patrick’s Day. That means it’s time for my yearly Irish-oriented Middle Child blog post. Over the years, I’ve covered a range of topics, from the world’s greatest (and only) selection of Middle Child Beers to the world’s  most famous Irish Middle Children. I even shared the sad story of the overlooked St. Gertrude, who has the misfortune of sharing her March 17th feast day with

St. you-know-who.

          I wasn’t sure how I was going to commemorate this year’s celebration, and I thought I might be running out of ideas -- but then it hit me. A limerick! I will write a Middle Child limerick!! What could be more Irish than that?

          But then I got nervous. What if I’m wrong? I mean, I always figured it was called a limerick because it originated in Limerick. But what if it wasn’t? I know Edward Lear was a big fan of the form, but he was English. So I did some exhaustive Google research and found this article titled “Where Do Limerick Poems Come From?” 

          It turns out there are many theories regarding where this poetic form originated and how it got its name, but most of them can be traced back to Ireland. Well, that’s a relief. So in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I now confidently present my Middle Child limerick:

 

There once was a father and mother

Who had two sons, then had another

The first born was cherished

Their baby they relished

And the Middle Child spent the rest of his life seeking attention and dealing with

the psychological damage caused by years of  Middle Child Syndrome

and always feeling like the overlooked

brother.

Happy St. Gertrude’s Day!

     Everyone knows March 17 is St. Patrick’s Day, right? Of course they do. But he’s not the only saint whose feast day is March 17. It’s also St. Gertrude of Nivelles Day. Who, you ask?
     Exactly!
     If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times: you don’t have to be a Middle Child to know what it feels like to be a Middle Child -- and St. Gertrude is the perfect example.
     According to catholictradition.org, she’s the patron saint of cats and the people who love them. (For the record, I am not one of those people. I don’t trust cats and I'm severely allergic to them. Just writing this post is irritating my eyes.) Back in the day, Gertrude was the “go-to” saint if you were experiencing a rodent infestation -- kind of like a Medieval Terminix. Over time, that led cat-lovers to associate her with their furry friends. Catster.com even goes so far as to call St. Gertrude “the original cat lady.”
     Like St. Patrick, Gertrude was also never formally canonized by the Catholic church, but in 1677 Pope Clement XII declared March 17 as her feast day. Great. He couldn’t have made it on the 16th or 18th? It had to be on the 17th?? It’s like some sick joke. Kind of like randomly making Middle Child’s Day on August 12 instead of July 2, the actual middle of the year, when it should be.
     Anyway, the bottom line is St. Gertrude got totally screwed. As a result, every year around this time, it’s always the same. St. Patrick gets the royal treatment on his day, like some favored first-born. He’s toasted and celebrated, basking in the emerald tinted limelight. St. Patrick, St. Patrick, St. Patrick! Meanwhile, poor Gertrude is lost in the shadows, a mere afterthought, treated like some second class saint. Overlooked and forgotten. She’s the saint that ain’t. No parades. No drunken revelry. Consigned to the litter box of feast days. Ugh. It doesn't get more Middle Child than that.
     I feel your pain, St. Gertrude! I really do. But like I said, I’m not a big fan of cats. On the other hand, I’m not even the least bit allergic to beer. So you win, St. Patrick. Well played.
     Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

A Toast to Famous Irish Middle Children

Profiles in Middledom, St. Patrick’s Day Edition: #5 in a series, featuring Middle Children (real-life or otherwise) who have earned their place in the pantheon of birth order oblivion.

     In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I was going to compile a list of the world’s most famous Irish Middle Children. To keep the list to a manageable size, I figured I would only include Middle Children who were actually born in Ireland. And speaking of manageable size -- I thought finding famous Irish-born Middle Children would be pretty easy, what with all the talk over the years about “large Irish families.” But it turns out, that’s not the case so much anymore. According to the Irish Independent, “Just 40 or 50 years ago, families with seven or more children were a normal part of daily life.” In 1971, around 15,000 families had six or more children -- by 2015 there were just 3,000. While the fertility rate in Ireland was 4 in 1963, today it’s under 2. The world rate is around 2.5. But I digress. The list, right -- the list.

Sir Benjamin Lee Guinness: he made a name for himself, one pint at a time.

     While St. Patrick himself was not a Middle Child, I still was on my way to compiling a list of some pretty impressive names: poet/playwright Oscar Wilde; explorer Ernest Shackleton; singer Shuhada' Davitt (formerly Sinead O’Connor); “Dracula” author Bram Stoker; actor Liam Neeson. But then I came across an Irish Middle Child so fitting for my St. Patrick’s Day tribute, suddenly it seemed like no others mattered. (What Middle Child hasn’t felt like that before?) A name as synonymous with St. Patrick’s Day as shamrocks and, depending on where you live, green bagels: Guinness. Yeah, that Guinness. Sir Benjamin Lee Guinness, Baronet of Ashford, to be specific. Grandson of the founder of the company responsible for brewing Ireland’s most famous drink. In 1855, he assumed control of the brewery, developed a booming export business, and is credited with making the stout brand famous worldwide. So much so, he was reported to be the richest man in Ireland in his day. And the rest is Middle Child history.
     Fortune magazine says, “Walk into your local liquor store and you could be forgiven for thinking St. Patrick’s Day was created by Guinness. It’s the day for Ireland’s favorite beer to shine -- and 13 million pints of the stout will be consumed in those 24 hours.” Of course, what good would a Middle Child success story be without a dose of MidKid whining, moaning, and self-loathing. So here goes.
     While Guinness is always on various lists of “Best Irish Beers to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day With,” it’s not the most popular beer in the U.S. on St. Patrick’s Day. According to the YouGovBrandIndex, that honor goes to... Corona. ¡Ay caramba! Sadly, Guinness is no longer even the best selling brew in Ireland. Holland-born Heineken owns that title. Oh well, at least the bottle is green.

To find out more about overlooked Middle Child brews, read our “Middle Child Beer Guide.”

If you want a real Middle Child Beer for St. Patrick’s Day, read “Here's to the Middle Child!”

Here's to the "Middle Child": a St. Patrick's Day toast.

     I don’t want to perpetuate stereotypes, but I can’t help but think of beer when I think of St. Patrick’s Day. You might recall that last St. Patty’s Day, I posted a review of the world’s most famous, and totally fictitious, Middle Child brews. (See “St. Patrick’s Day Special: A Middle Child Beer Guide.”) I had a lot of fun making up the names and labels, but this year I didn't have to. I found an honest-to-goodness, real life Middle Child beer. It’s from Bog Iron Brewing in Norton, MA, and it’s called, what else -- “Middle Child.” It’s a Double IPA that gets a Beer Advocate rating of 90! According to BA, “you should expect something robust, malty, alcoholic and with a hop profile that might rip your tongue out.” That sounds pleasant.

     In any case, as the founder and leader of the International Middle Child Union, I reached out to the folks at Bog Iron. I figured, who wouldn't want the endorsement of a powerful international union. Have you heard from them? Me neither. Do these guys not realize what the support of the I.M.C.U. could do for their business!?! Or maybe they do. Whatever. I’m not one to hold a grudge. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m a Middle Child -- of course I’m one to hold a grudge. But I’m not going to in this instance. In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, I raise a glass of “Middle Child,” and wish you all a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

St. Patrick's Day Special: a Middle Child Beer Guide

     How much beer is consumed on St. Patrick's Day? A lot! Guinness estimates it's consumption almost triples, while others figure at least 1% of all the beer consumed in the world each year occurs just on March 17th. In doing my research for this post, I uncovered some other interesting facts. For example, the Russian River Brewing Company makes a double IPA called Pliny the Elder that's been rated "The Best Beer in America" by the American Home Brewers Association a record 5 years in a row. It's success led to the creation of Pliny the Younger. So where is Pliny the Middle Child, huh? There's no denying St. Patrick's Day is HUGE for the big brothers of brewing, but where are all the Middle Child brews?  Well, have no fear. Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, I dug deeper to find some of the best Mid Kid beers you (of course) never heard of...

They call it "The national Beer of Texas." It's seems everyone has heard of Lone Star Beer. Sadly, the same can't be said for the favorite beer of Texan Middle Children -- the not as cherished and far less popular Left Alone Star Beer.