Being a Middle Child is no laughing matter. Okay, maybe it is a little. Middle Child's Day is a week away, and with it comes the mandatory Middle Child mockery. You know, “It’s Middle Child’s Day. But nobody cares!” Or “It’s Middle Child’s Day? I forgot.” How original. Hardy har har.
In an attempt to preempt all the not-so-funny funnymen and women, I’ve assembled a curated collection of comedians – all certified certifiable Middle Children themselves. These MidKid stand-ups won’t stand by while others make fun of us. They are taking matters into their own hands, sending a powerful message to the world: we can do the job very well ourselves, thank you.
NOTE: Nate Bargatze is NOT a Middle Child, but his bit is so funny, I just had to include it.
As Middle Child’s Day approaches, I thought it would be a good time to ask a question that I’m sure every Middle Child has at least one good answer to: What’s the craziest/dumbest/most desperate thing you ever did for attention? Now, before I go any further, I want to be clear that this isn’t a question only Middle Children can answer. After all, we don’t have a monopoly on trying to get attention, even though we’re pretty darn close. Everyone has exhibited some good ‘ol Middle Child attention seeking behavior at some point in their lives, so we all can play along. I’ll go first…
For as long as I can remember, I found making someone laugh was a great attention-grabbing tool. As a child, and as a grown ass man for that matter, I still find it very effective. There are those who would say I would do almost anything for a laugh (a.k.a. attention). In particular, I always got great pleasure out of making my younger sister laugh. Maybe because it was so darn easy -- she thinks everything I say is funny, even when I’m being dead serious.
I remember one time when we were kids, we were in the back seat of my parents car on a long ride home. My sister and I were sharing a box of raisins. My older brother probably had a box of his own. I don’t remember why, not that there’s ever a good reason, but I was suddenly consumed by the overwhelming need for attention. So while my sister was looking out the window, I took two of the raisins and placed one in each of my nostrils. Seemed like a good idea at the time, and boy did it work. My sister had a fit of hysterical laughter. In fact, she was laughing so hard, it got me laughing.
In hindsight, it would’ve been so much better if I had breathed out instead of in when I started laughing, but I wasn’t used to having raisins in my nose and was so caught up in the euphoria of all the attention I was getting, I wasn’t considering the anatomical consequences of my actions. I’ll spare you the gory details, but let’s just say raisins are much less painful when they enter your digestive system through your mouth rather than your nose.
Lesson learned.
(FULL DISCLOSURE: This probably wasn’t even the most outrageous thing I did to get attention. More like the one I was least embarrassed to admit!)
Here’s a clip from comedian John Mulaney’s most recent Netflix special, “Baby J” (it was great, by the way), where he shares a pretty dark childhood plan he had for getting attention...
Okay, so now it’s your turn. Share your most ridiculous attention-grabbing scheme by commenting below, on Twitter @midkidmusings, on Facebook at the I.M.C.U. page, or if you feel like pissing off Elon Musk, on Threads @midkidunion.
Winners will receive some attention. What else?
Enjoyed this post?Never miss out on future posts -- click here to follow the blog.
