Wednesday, September 9, 2020

It's about time!

          It wasn’t long ago they said time was running out for Middle Children. In 2018, New York Magazine declared we were going extinct. And I’ve been warning about our impending doom on this blog and the Smack Dab Channel for years. But now it appears our time has come -- quite literally. Shinola, the Detroit-based luxury goods retailer, is welcoming a new member to their family of watches. It’s part of their Detrola collection, and it’s called -- wait for it -- The Middle Child!
“The Unofficial Official
Watch of the I.M.C.U.”

          “Middle Children are invisible by nature, but now it’s time to be seen,” their introductory marketing proclaims. I sure like the way that sounds. “Finally, a Middle Child everyone will notice, “ they promise. As somewhat of an expert on second hand things, I have to agree -- it is a good looking watch. Designed as “a tribute to being unseen, but unforgettable,” Shinola describes the watch as “practically invisible, but far less likely to be left behind at a rest stop” -- also hard to argue with, painful as it may be. 
          As the founder of the International Middle Child Union, I can't tell you how pleased I am to learn about the launch of this new watch. We Middle Children will take attention any way we can get it, even if it's in the form of a semi-invisible timepiece. How pathetic of us. In any case, it's attention, so we'll take it. According to Shinola, “We would have launched it on Middle Child’s Day, but no one would have noticed.” Very funny. But you can be sure I’ll be including it in the 2021 Middle Child's Day Gift Guide.
          I couldn't get the good folks at Shinola to accept our endorsement as the “Official Watch of the I.M.C.U.” Just imagine the impact that could’ve had on sales! Go figure. But they seemed okay with being “The Unofficial Official Watch of the International Middle Child Union.” And while it’s hardly a hearty embrace of our support, it beats a flat out “no thanks,” I guess. I’ve suffered far greater Middle Child indignities. I also thought it would be a good idea if Shinola sent me one of these new watches so I could personally review it. They have yet to reply to my request. Oh well. 
          Of course, the fact that this new watch will probably get more attention than we do is mildly disturbing, but I can deal with it if it will help the cause. Who knows? Only time will tell. 
NOTE: As I’m always happy to throw some attention a Middle Child’s way, this was brought to my attention by Jeff Kearns of Baton Rouge, LA -- a long time reader of the blog and self-proclaimed “forever Middle Child.” Feel free to reach out to me at with story ideas and breaking Middle Child news.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Middle Children need to be heard!