Thursday, January 3, 2019

Government Shutdown: the Middle Child Perspective

“I scream, you scream, we all
scream for this shutdown
to be over!

     Middle Children are experts in not getting everything we want. We learn at an early age to take what we can get, and that compromise is key. As the founding father of the Middle Child Party, I have shared this meet-in-the-middle perspective with politicians from both parties during previous shutdowns, but it obviously bears repeating. Maybe I need to simplify things to illustrate my point. Perhaps a familial analogy will provide a clear insight...
     One day, Mom decides she’d like to buy ice cream for her three children. The kids are in agreement -- they all want ice cream. But Mom gets paid way less than her male co-workers and can only afford one gallon, so they all have to agree on a flavor. The little sister, Nancy, wants chocolate. She says a majority of people like it best. The Middle Child, Donnie, wants orange ice cream. He knows it's an acquired taste and a smaller group of people prefer it, but he insists “It’s the best flavor in the world, and nobody loves it more than me.” He also says people who like chocolate ice cream are losers. To make matters worse, Donnie wants sprinkles. Lots of sprinkles. Like 5 BILLION! Nancy hates sprinkles. As for their older brother, Mitch, he doesn't want to get involved and won’t pick a flavor until the other two agree on one. Oh, that's helpful. Nancy and Donnie won’t budge, so days and days go by without anybody getting what they want. NOBODY GETS THEIR ICE CREAM!
     Meanwhile, the Middle Child voice in my head is screaming, “Why does it have to be ice cream!?” How about some sorbet? Or frozen yogurt? Or maybe a different dessert altogether, like a nice piece of pie, or pudding? I don’t know if any of this will lead to some sort of breakthrough, but I do know it has made me very hungry.

Speaking of meeting in the middle, the Middle Child Party is proud to present some 
“Music for a Government Shutdown.”

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Middle Children need to be heard!