Stamp Out Middle Child Neglect!

Save Our Saturday... delivery!

     The United States Postal Service’s planned cancellation of Saturday mail delivery is a direct attack on Middle Children. Well, at least on me. You might wonder how cancelling Saturday delivery could have anything to do with being a Middle Child. Let me explain...   

     Like many Middle Children, when I was growing up I had an insatiable need for attention. (I say that like I don’t anymore.) I did/do whatever it took/takes to get it, and receiving mail was one of the least disruptive ways I could think of. All I had to do was send a letter to someone and they would send one back to me. MAIL = ATTENTION.  So I wrote a lot of letters. I even had a pen-pal. Every week I was assured of receiving mail. When I got home from school, I couldn’t wait to check the mailbox. To this day, I still can’t wait. Even though most mail is now junk, if it’s addressed to me it counts. I admit I have developed an unhealthy postal dependency, but I can’t get this mailbag off my back. Nor do I want to! Middle Children need all the attention we can get. Of course, times have changed, so now in addition to mail, I also eagerly await e-mail, texts, Twitter followers, Facebook “likes” and blog subscribers (hint, hint.) But old habits die hard, so I will always have a special place in my heart for receiving good old fashioned snail mail. It was hard enough making it through Sundays without it, but now Saturdays, too!? It’s almost too much for a mail-addicted Middle Child to bear!  But I do have a way the Postal Service can make this up to me – I mean us.

     I propose the creation of a stamp honoring Middle Children! It wouldn’t be the first time a Middle Child has achieved philatelic fame. Edgar Allan Poe, Martin Luther King Jr., and Abraham Lincoln are just some of the MidKids who have earned postal prominence over the years. (I will try to find others. You know I will.) Even Lisa Simpson has earned the postal stamp of approval. Of course, the USPS printed one billion “Simpsons” stamps to commemorate the shows 20th anniversary, but only sold 318 million of them. They were left with 682 million stamps and blew $1.2 million dollars in printing costs. So I’m sure somehow this whole Saturday cancellation thing will get blamed on the Middle Child! How ironic.