Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Rooting for the Middle Child: a Special Super Bowl Report

The NFL's best kept secret...
     Much is being made of the upcoming Super Sunday bro-down between Baltimore Raven's Coach John Harbaugh and his younger brother, San Francisco 49ers Coach Jim.  It's being called everything from "The Bro Bowl" and "The HarBowl" to "The biggest duel since Cain & Abel." Google image search "Harbaugh Siblings" and you'll find page after page of the smiling siblings. The media can't get enough of this brotherly dynamic duo, and who can blame them? It's hard to resist their made for TV story: two brothers going head to head, the proud parents torn between their two children. Endless articles recount the brothers growing up together, learning the game together. But like any good made for TV movie, there's a plot twist.

THREE, count 'em THREE!

     Meet the forgotten Harbaugh -- John and Jim's baby sister, Joani. Please don't misunderstand. This isn't a post all about how Joani is the Harbaugh nobody knows. I will leave it for some last-born advocate to fight that fight. No, this is about something far more sinister. Do the math: if John is the oldest and Joani is the youngest, that makes Jim -- you guessed it -- a Middle Child! But does anyone cover that angle? Of course not! That storyline is conveniently buried as part of the vast Middle Child conspiracy -- the ongoing effort to keep us down. You have to dig a little deeper to uncover this cover-up, and who would waste their precious time doing something like that? Okay, besides me!
     You see, this isn't just a super-sized sibling rivalry saga. This is way more than just the tale of a baby brother taking on his big brother. This is the story of a Middle Child versus, well -- the world! Are we going to sit idly by while the anti-Middle Child leaning media tries to keep this Mid Kid success story out of the spotlight? You bet your ass we will! But at least we can root.

Who we'd LIKE to win: 49ers
Who we THINK will win: Ravens

1 comment:

Middle Children need to be heard!