Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Cracking the Code: How to Talk to a Middle Child

Talking to a Middle Child would be A LOT easier with one of these!
Talking to a Middle Child would be A LOT easier with one of these!
     We all know that dealing with a Middle Child can be, how shall I say … difficult. Even the simple act of talking to us can be challenging at times. For example, take these simple exchanges:

Example 1:
WIFE:
How was work today?
MIDDLE CHILD HUSBAND:
Horrible. Thanks for reminding me!

Example 2:
MOTHER:
What would you like for breakfast?
MIDDLE CHILD:
Don’t you even know what I like!?

     See what I mean? Here's the main thing you need to know about talking to a Middle Child: No matter what you say, it will be wrong.
If you are trying to make us feel better, it will make us feel worse. If you are trying to pay us a compliment, it will be taken as an insult. If you are trying to be nice, it will be interpreted as trying to be mean. You cannot win. When communicating with a Middle Child, you must always remember that what you say is not at all necessarily what we hear. With this in mind, I am offering the following insight to help guide you through the tricky task of talking to a Middle Child:

WHEN YOU SAY:                               A MIDDLE CHILD HEARS:
“How’s your brother?”                           “I like your brother more than you.”
“How’s your sister?”                             “I like your sister more than you.”
“How’s your dog?”                                “I like your dog better than you.”
“I saved you some cake.”                      “I saved your brother/sister some cake,
                                                           but they don’t want it.”
“What time is it?”                                 “You’re late.
“Your hair looks nice today.”                 “Your hair didn’t look nice yesterday.”
“Let’s go for sushi.”                              “We were going for sushi without you but now that you
                                                           heard us talking about it we have to invite you.”
“I love you.”                                          “… just not as much as your brother and sister.”
“You are so smart.”                               “… just not as much as your brother and sister.”
“Can I borrow some money?”                  “Can I borrow some money?”

     On second thought, maybe this won’t help you figure out what to say to a Middle Child, but perhaps it will help you figure out what not to say. Of course, your safest bet is probably to not say anything at all. In any case, I hope you use this information wisely. If you are a Middle Child, you probably think I just called you stupid.

1 comment:

Middle Children need to be heard!