Thursday, August 30, 2018

Middle Child Hairdon'ts

I have Category 5 bed head.
     This is what my hair looks like when I wake up every morning. I realize this is not an exclusively Middle Child phenomenon. I know that many others face similar coif catastrophes each day. But this is a Middle Child’s blog after all, and I want to stay on point. So I feel it’s important to focus on those Middle Children who hold a very special place in the Bad Hair Hall of Shame. In fact, they are some of the most legendary superstars of the follicle follies, taking the pursuit of the hirsute to hair-raising new heights. In many cases, literally.
     It kind of makes perfect sense when you think about it. I mean, what an easy way to grab attention. With the stroke of a brush, or perhaps a comb, it’s like saying, “Look at me,” without even saying a word.
     Here are just some of the many Middle Children who know how to make every day a bad hair day.


Hair Force One - Donald Trump:
you would think our Middle Child
in Chief gets enough attention. 
Judging from his hair, apparently not.

Spear Head - Britney Spears:
when it comes to seeking attention with
your hair, sometimes less is more.

The King of Bad Hair - Don King: 
the original heavyweight champion
of hair. At the height of his career,
his hair was, too.

Crazy Train Coif - Kelly Osbourne: 
when your dad once bit the head off a
bat, doing weird stuff with your hair
is mild by comparison.

Hair Apparent - Kim Jong Un:
Donald Trump’s BFF has had
hundreds of people executed since
taking power in 2011. His hair stylist
must have been one of them.

Wigging Out - Nicki Minaj:
her vast collection of attention grabbing 
wigs runs the gamut, from rainbow striped to leopard spotted.

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Middle Children need to be heard!