Monday, October 7, 2013

Why Politicians Need to Think Like a Middle Child

     Like most people, I’ve been growing more and more frustrated about Congress’ inability to seemingly get anything done. And that was before they shut down the government. Over the last few days, I’ve been trying to figure out some way they could work this all out, and that’s when it hit me. Politicians have to stop behaving like stubborn firstborns, spoiled lastborns, and selfish only children and take a page out of the Middle Child playbook. I mean, if anyone knows about not getting everything you want, it’s a Middle Child. Experts agree that since most Middle Children feel our older and younger siblings get special treatment, we learn early on how to negotiate for what we want. They also say that we’re agreeable, diplomatic, compromising, handle disappointment well, and have realistic expectations. Sounds like damn good qualities for a politician, if you ask me. That’s why today I am officially announcing the formation of the Middle Child Party. Our goal is simple: to tell Washington that it’s time to stop behaving like politicians, and start acting like Middle Children!
     Of course, like any legitimate political party, we need a mascot. After all, Republicans have their elephant and Democrats have their donkey -- for reasons that make little sense, by the way. (Why anyone would choose a jackass as their mascot is beyond me.) Since we are the “monkeys in the middle,” designating the monkey as our mascot seemed the logical choice.
Political Animals: the monkey is the perfect mascot!
(At least, it makes sense to me.)
     The Middle Child Party already has the support of the International Middle Child Union – the world’s largest Middle Child Union. (Okay, it’s the world’s ONLY Middle Child union, but that’s not that point!) It’s time to send our politicians a message. Support the #MiddleChildParty on Facebook and Twitter, and let’s show Washington how to get it done, Middle Child style!
to hear Middle Child Party "Founding Father" discuss party platform, 
the shutdown, and other Middle Child issues. 


  1. Here is a new third party idea. Let me know what you think!

  2. Sounds perfect to me.

    Middle children are natural negotiators anyway, since they usually are the ones who play referee when it comes to big bro and lil sis arguing all the time.


Middle Children need to be heard!