Monday, February 25, 2013

Oscar's Middle Children: A Post-show Review

Another kick in the balls
for Middle Child actors.
     In case you missed our exclusive LIVE Middle Child coverage of the 85th Academy Awards on Twitter (@MidKidMusings), here’s a summary. (By the way, it’s really hard finding out who’s a Middle Child, so I only looked at the major acting awards. And I only looked back 20 years, because this was fun at first, but then it just got annoying! Oh, and another thing. I’m pretty sure this information is correct, but I wouldn’t bet the house on it.)
No Oscar for you!!
     In the acting categories, only four of this year’s nominees were Middle Children. In the “Best Middle Child Actor in a Leading Role” category, Joaquin Phoenix was nominated for his performance in “The Master,” and Denzel Washington for “Flight.” Of course, neither of them stood a chance, but Daniel Day-Lewis won for his portrayal of Lincoln who was a Middle Child, so that’s kind of a moral victory. In the last 20 years, the award for Best Actor has gone to a Middle Child just three times. The last one to get the nod was Sean Penn, and he got two nods: in 2008 for “Milk,” and in 2003 for “Mystic River.” Prior to that, Denzel Washington won top MidKid acting honors in 2001 for “Training Day.”

Sorta kinda a Middle Child.
     In the “Best Actress in a Leading Role” category, there were no Middle Child nominees. Typical. The last Middle-Born to be crowned Best Actress was Helen Mirren in 2006 for “The Queen.” She is also the only Middle Child in the last 20 years to receive that honor. There were also no Middle Child nominees in the “Best Actor in a Supporting Role” category. WTF!? Since 1993, Michael Caine is the only Middle Child to win the category. That was in 1999 for “The Cider House Rules, and his Middle Child bona fides are a bit shaky. He didn’t even know he had a younger half-brother until he was 58, but he’s still technically a Middle Child, so we’ll take it. Middle Children can’t be choosers.
The Flying None: Sally goes
home sans statue.
     In the “Best Middle Child Actress in a Supporting Role” category, Sally Field was nominated for “Lincoln” and Anne Hathaway for “Les Miserables.” The Academy showed Hathaway some well deserved Oscar love, but Sally wins the award for "Best Performance in a Comic Sketch with Seth MacFarlane." (Skip to 13:55) And she still is the winner of "Most Memorable Acceptance Speech of All Time by a Middle Child," or maybe anyone for that matter. The last Middle Child to be named Best Supporting Actress was Cate Blanchett in 2004 for “The Aviator.” She joins Catherine Zeta-Jones (“Chicago,” 2002) and Kim Basinger (“L.A. Confidential,1997) as the only three Middle Children to win the award in the last 20 years.
     So there you have it -- another sub-par year for Middle Child actors. Just like you'd expect.

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Middle Children need to be heard!